Familiar Touch directed by Sarah Friedland is a profoundly tender story. Having received multiple awards at the Venice Film Festival in 2024, this film distinguishes itself through its honesty and compassion, treating each of its characters with great care and humanity.
Ruth (Kathleen Chalfant) is an elderly woman living with dementia, struggling to come to terms with the fact that she will spend the rest of her life somewhere that is not her home. As a new resident in an assisted living facility, she must learn to live among strangers while constantly confronting the realities of aging.
The film clearly portrays her denial, or rather, her resistance to her memory loss, her resistance to aging, as she desperately tries to prove to herself that she is capable of independence. Whether it is through reciting a borscht recipe or simply having the opportunity to unpack without assistance, Ruth clings on to any opportunity she gets to hold on to the parts of her that she fears she is losing. It is heartbreaking to watch someone go through such a transformation when they have absolutely no control over it.
But do not fret, the story is far from all gloom and pain. It is filled with light-hearted humour, moments of amusement and genuinely heart-warming scenes. Ruth is not someone we are meant to feel sorry for throughout the film, that is not the intention. She is flirty, she is bossy, and among many other things, we learn through a rather delightful scene that she was once a cook. We come to know her as far more than just an old lady with dementia.
Around twenty minutes into the film, a single sentence brought me to tears. I remember thinking, “They must be doing something very, very right.”
It was later that I realised that this is not what The Father, starring Anthony Hopkins, is about (which is brilliant, by the way, but terrifying). Instead, Familiar Touch is about human connection, compassion for one another, and an undeniable love that can be communicated through a single glance or a simple sentence. The pain experienced by everyone involved is deeply apparent but love is always stronger.
The film also highlights the importance of genuinely caring about the work you do, particularly in assisted living. Vanessa, one of the nurses at the residence, brings an infectious warmth to every interaction. Even Ruth refers to her as a friend. It is a small thing that makes a tremendous difference. Her kindness helps Ruth remain optimistic and preserves, if only briefly, a sense of youthfulness and independence. That sense that the people caring for her are not merely there to treat her like a child but to respect her as an adult, as an equal. This compassion gives the residents dignity and meaning in a stage of life they may have feared.
Ruth is the central character and refuses to accept being sidelined, and everyone around her does everything they can to ensure she never feels that way. Kathleen Chalfant did a fantastic job. She shifts from moments of complete lucidity to confusion within seconds and you can see the exact moment her face changes, just ever so slightly, but it is enough to transform the entire scene. Some of the film’s most heartbreaking moments arrive unexpectedly, much like the memory lapses themselves.
And in the end? As difficult as it is for your life to change entirely in a way you cannot control, feeling helpless, confused, submitting your independence and succumbing to a new reality – there is still the possibility of adaptation. There is still life, and there is certainly still happiness.
Familiar Touch arrives in UK cinemas on 19 June.
